I'm new to this forum and desperately looking for some guidance.

Chicago, I read your story & got goose bumps. My daughter, who will be 4 in December, was a colicky baby as well and it started to ease off when she was about 5 months old. But I always new she was "different". She fought naps, resisted change, very sensitive, extremely observant, cried over seemingly minor things, fearful and cautious but very affectionate & caring. I don't deal with things that other moms deal with i.e child being aggressive, throwing things, taking stuff from other kids, it's just not in my daughter's nature (except maybe with her little brother). My daughter is a follower, is quiet, shy and usually her first reaction is to cry. I too research everything and came across the book "raising your spirited child". I also found an excellent book "The Highly Sensitive Child" by Elaine Aron, which put my mind at ease that I wasn't dealing with something "abnormal" but a normal personality trait.

As a baby, my daughter did not poop as much as my dr thought "should" be normal. She was breastfed till almost a yr but was not constipated. She she was tested for alot of things but nothing came up. She did have a few periods of constipation when she got older and through it all developed an anal fissure and began to withhold her poop. We weren't potty training at the time as I knew it was not the right time. She began seeing a peadiatrician about 1 1/2 yrs ago. Since that time, she has been on Lactulose, with a few minor changes in the dosage. Once the fissure was healed, we began potty training, but it has been a long & difficult road. We did the rewards, the sticker chart, the wrapped surprises, putting the potty in her room, putting on pull ups, panties, back to diapers & pull ups, etc. We had some success with peeing in the potty, telling us when she had to pee, etc but ended up going back to pull ups due to the withholding of poop & "staining". She tries to withhold poop through it all (even when in her pull up), partly I think becaues of fear and partly because when she withholds she has alot of "mini poops" throughout the day, which because of the constant wiping she gets really sore. I also think that due to her temperment, she is even more resistant to change.

At our last peadtrician appt (3mos ago), he said to keep her in pull ups & leave her in her pee/poop for about 20 mins. This does not bother her in the least as I am convinced she would stay in for hrs if we let her. The ped. also said to leave her in pull ups but keep getting her to go on the potty throughout the day. Although he keeps saying she won't go to kindergarten in diapers, I feel that we have to start moving forward somewhat and I decided to put her back in panties yesterday. I think I need to look at a medication switch as I don't think the poop is as lubricated as it should be despite her having plenty of liquids. (it never surprises me what you share once you have kids! LOL!) Since yesterday, we had a couple of pees in the potty, 1 teeny poop and plenty of accidents on the floor. She still resists going on the potty but I put her on then I try to distract her and help her relax with songs, stories, etc. I feel that I have to give the panties an honest try as the pull ups are too much like diapers for her. I'm trying not to make this a battle or power struggle (I gave up the power struggle a long time ago when it came to her eating or rather not eating! But it is soo frustrating. I also work outside the home..my husband works shift work and is home with her on his days off, my mother comes to my house when my husband is sleeping or also working. She will be going to a Kinderstart & pre-k pgrm this month but it is only for a couple of hrs a day so I'm not so worried. My daughter will usually not poop when she is out, but will wait till she is back home.

Just thought I'd share & would welcome any comments/suggestions....thanks for reading