Let me start out my story by stating my son Matthew is probably a bit more difficult than the average child. He was born VERY colicky. All the books told me colic should pass by 3-6 months, however, Matthew's didn't pass until 8 months. He's never been textbook at anything. He's more sensitive, more high-strung, and needs more of a set schedule than the average kid. He's also not a fan of change in general. I've always known that any time a big change were to occur, I'd have to slowly work him into it by bringing up the impending change weeks or days before the change was to occur so as not to shock him too much. As Matthew got older, I found a book called "The Spirited Child" that seemed to fit his temperament to a "T". Having my next child certainly confirmed what my husband and I always knew….Matthew was more of a difficult child, also known as the spirited child. So needless to say, when it came to potty training we knew this wasn't going to be an easy task to accomplish with his temperament but we had no idea how difficult it was going to be since we know potty training in general for most kids is a challenge.

I'm a Registered Nurse and a research hound. I'm the mom who made all my kids baby foods, nursed them the recommended full first year of life, and followed just about every book that gave guidance on proper baby rearing. I'd definitely read more than my fair share of books on potty training before I ever even began the process. I started out Matthew sitting on a potty, fully clothed as the books suggested, to have him get used to sitting on the potty. It became the place he sat to have his snacks. When it came time to move on to the next step, he just didn't want to sit on the potty without his pants or without his diaper. It became a battle and I could see that if I didn't back off on the potty training for a while we weren't going to get very far. I waited about 4-6 months and tried to introduce the potty again. I bought him tons of books on potty training and quite a few good video's to watch on potty training. He enjoyed the books and he enjoyed the video's but they certainly didn't make him want to potty train himself. It started to become a battle again so once again I backed off for a while.

After Matthew turned 3 and started in preschool, I realized I had to start trying to progress with this. Matthew was placed in classroom with 18 month to 2 year olds because he wasn't potty trained and that was the only class that had extra helpers in the event of a diaper change. I wondered if it even made sense to put him in preschool when he was clearly going to be so much older than the other kids, but I did it anyway and hoped that maybe seeing other kids potty training would encourage Matthew to want to try. It was also around the age of 3 that Matthew began to stool hold. I can remember clear as a bell when it began but I'd never heard of stool holding so I didn't really know what it was until I spoke with his pediatrician. He stated that if I didn't treat this problem now with a laxative, then a vicious cycle would occur where Matthew would hold, stool would back up and increase the size of his colon, he would continue to hold but eventually would get to the point where he'd held the stool so long and expanded his colon so much that he'd start having abnormally large and painful stools and may even reach a point where he might not be able to pass them. I wasn't happy to think about placing my child on Miralax but I had hoped that the problem would only require a few weeks of it and we'd be back to normal. No such luck. Matthew was placed on it at 3 and is still on it to this day. I plan to try to wean him in the next month or so. I'd done a lot of research on Miralax, spoke to several pediatricians, and also spoke with numerous pharmacists to ensure there wasn't any long-term harm in taking Miralax. Of all the laxatives out there, it's supposed to be the least upsetting to the stomach, non-habit-forming and gentle. So far, it's really helped us out through this last difficult year.

Once on the Miralax I began my quest to try potty training Matthew again. He fought me kicking and screaming at the mere thought of sitting on the potty. I knew there wasn't a rational reason for this and I knew it was more power struggle than anything else but it didn't make it any less upsetting or frustrating to me. I finally pushed him past the first hurdle and actually got him to regularly sit on the potty. He absolutely refused to make anything. No pee, no poop. Nothing. He would sit and happily smile at me and as soon as I removed him, he'd promptly go to the bathroom in his diaper. I was so frustrated! After another 4 months of this, he woke up one day and finally decided he was ready to pee on the potty. Just like that…he did it! I was happy but all I could think was "that little stinker"! He had just proved to me that this had been a power struggle all along and that he was going to call the shots in regard to this and go on his terms.

Then the real fun began! Continued stool holding, continued unwillingness to poop on the potty and continued frustration for us all. When my poop training quest began, Matthew was pooping in various rooms throughout the house. He'd go off to some corner somewhere and poop. He never asked to be changed after he'd pooped. Again, he showed he was non-textbook since most kids would be uncomfortable with poop in their pants and ask to be changed right away. Matthew was the polar opposite. He'd sit in the nastiest diaper for hours if I let him. I'd often have to battle him just to change him out of it. I kept researching and researching this topic. It seemed that the more I researched the topic, the more I realized my sons unwillingness to train and his level of stool holding surpassed the norm. I then began soliciting the help of my pediatrician. During the course of all of these problems, the pediatrician I knew and loved had retired. The new pediatrician promptly recommended a psychologist!! Imagine that! I was appalled and obviously very turned off. After all. He was 3…not 15!! I saw 3 other pediatrician's and all of them gave me canned advice.. "Take his diaper off and let him run around naked" said one. Did they not realize the consistency of poop on Miralax? That would be fun to clean from my carpet! "Have him help you clean his underapants" said another. Again I felt I was spinning my wheels. Finally I learned of Dr. Greene's chat site and entered.

The change all began on Dr. Greene's advice. His first recommendation was to stop the whole house pooping ordeal. Dr. Greene recommended I confine him to the bathroom when pooping in his diaper or pull up. With a bit of a struggle. It worked!!!

I came back to Dr. Greene and asked how to progress. He told me the next step was to have my son learn to sit on the potty to poop….in his pull-up. It took some fighting, but I was persistent. After several attempts. He did it! And stuck with it. After two weeks of pooping this way, I came back to see Dr. Greene. He said that I should now coerce him to remove the pull-up. After two weeks of attempting this, I realized there was no way I was going to accomplish this. My son was completely resistant to removing the pull-up. In my last chat with Dr. Greene, he recommended I try cutting holes in the bottom of the pull-up to allow him to poop through the hole. I did this and imagine Matthew's surprise and shock when he pooped in the potty! He was quite proud of himself and I thought that I'd finally won!!! I didn't. Matthew became angry that I was cutting holes in the butt of his pull-ups. But I kept sneaking the holes in the pull-up. Finally after 4 weeks of cutting holes in the pull-up, I began a countdown. I told my son that He had 7 pull-ups left and after that, he was too big and the store didn't sell the pull-ups in larger sizes. Every day as he used another pull-up we talked about how many were left and what the end result would be. On the last day when there were no pull-ups my son was quite upset! He clearly had to use the potty and kept asking me for a pull-up, but I stuck to my guns and told him we were out and that he'd have to poop without one. After about 10 attempts on the potty and refusal to go, he couldn't hold it any longer and just went!!! It's been weeks now and he's not once looked back. He's super proud of himself and very excited to be a big boy. He's never once mentioned his pull-ups again. It's odd that after all the grief and all the concern, the potty training problem seems to be a distant bad memory. I can't thank Dr. Greene enough for being the only one to head my son and I down the right path with the least amount of trauma to him. He's been an invaluable resource and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be near this point without all of his help.

I hope my long journey will help other moms during a pretty frustrating stage of parenting.

Hi Angie... I know how you're feeling. I had a neighbor who's son also held all poop until bedtime and then did his pooping. Hard to break that pattern. Her pediatrician actually had her use an enema for her son. One enema was all it took for her son to stop saving the poop until bedtime. However, her son was 5 when this happened. Your daughter is still rather young. You've got time to work on the pooping....slowely...at her pace. My son poop trained at 4 years and 3 months....and never looked back once he did it the first time. Encourage pooping in the potty....reward pooping in the potty...but back off when she seems super resistant. Dr. Greene recommended this for me, and it worked. At one point...I actually backed of the poop training for 2 months. When they say kids will poop when they're ready...they mean it. That's what happened with my little guy. The more I pushed...the more he back off. When I backed off...he took the ball and ran with it. Hope this helps!